The first week with a new nanny should be structured enough to make expectations clear, but calm enough to let the nanny and children build their own working relationship. The most effective starts usually include a short overlap or shadowing period, a clear routine and home tour, written emergency and household information, and a scheduled end-of-week check-in.
By Filipino Nanny | Updated 23 August 2026
What problems are normal in the first week?
From Filipino Nanny Agency’s placement experience, several first-week issues are common and do not automatically mean the placement is failing:
- Children testing boundaries or clinging: some children ask repeatedly when a parent is returning, become tearful at handover or test whether the nanny will follow the same rules.
- Routines feeling clunky: meals, naps, school runs and transitions often take longer while the nanny learns the household rhythm.
- Lots of questions: a new nanny may ask about allergies, screen rules, food, school procedures, keys, visitors and routines. Thoughtful questions are usually a sign that the nanny is trying to understand the job properly.
- Parents feeling anxious: handing over care can make parents want to hover or correct every small difference, which can make it harder for the nanny to build confidence.
- Small boundary slips: misunderstandings about phones, shoes, snacks, doors, tidying or communication style are often fixable if they are discussed quickly and specifically.
Day one: do a full home and routine tour
Do not assume the nanny knows what matters simply because it feels obvious to the family. Walk through the home and show the practical information needed to work safely and independently.
- Emergency contacts and where important numbers are kept.
- Allergies, medication instructions and relevant health information supplied by the parents.
- First-aid kit, alarms, exits and household safety arrangements.
- Keys, entry systems, security procedures and rules about visitors.
- School or nursery routes, collection procedures and authorised contacts.
- Meal, nap, bath, homework and bedtime routines where relevant.
- House rules on screens, snacks, shoes, pets, noise and play areas.
- What should be communicated to parents during the day and how.
The nanny’s written job description and employment terms should already define the role. Onboarding explains how the household operates; it should not quietly add new duties that were never agreed.
Use an overlap or shadowing period where possible
For many families, a short overlap helps the nanny observe the children’s real routine before taking full responsibility. In our first-week guidance, we often suggest that a parent is at home or readily available for the first two or three days when practical.
The nanny can watch one school run, one meal or nap routine and the normal handover style, then take increasing responsibility. The aim is not for the parent to supervise every minute. It is to transfer the information the nanny needs and then create space for the new relationship to develop.
Give the nanny a simple family handbook
A one- or two-page document is often more useful than a long list of verbal instructions. Keep it practical and update it when something genuinely changes.
Include:
- the normal daily routine;
- children’s food, allergy and medication information supplied by the parents;
- school or nursery contacts and timetable;
- emergency contacts;
- house rules and non-negotiables;
- approved activities and transport arrangements;
- preferred parent communication method;
- regular clubs, appointments and collection arrangements;
- who can enter the home or collect the children;
- where to record expenses or important events.
Keep sensitive information secure and give the nanny only the information needed for the role.
Keep the children’s first few days low pressure
A new nanny does not need to create an impressive programme on day one. Familiar routines, a known park, favourite books, simple play and normal meals make it easier to observe how the child and nanny respond to each other.
Parents can help by making the handover clear rather than repeatedly leaving and returning. A child may still be upset; the aim is not to eliminate every emotion, but to make the transition predictable and give the nanny a fair opportunity to settle the child.
Agree how you will communicate during the day
Some families want a short WhatsApp update; others prefer a written daily log or a verbal handover. Decide what information is genuinely useful rather than creating constant reporting that distracts from childcare.
A useful handover may cover meals, naps, activities, mood, medication administered according to parental instructions, school information, accidents or incidents, and anything that needs a decision from the parents.
From more than 800 placements: what we tell families to watch
Filipino Nanny Agency reports more than 800 placements since 2023. The first-week problems we hear about most are usually not dramatic failures; they are mismatches in expectations that were not discussed early enough.
Typical examples are a parent expecting more housekeeping than the brief stated, a nanny being unsure how much independence the parents want, different assumptions about phones or children’s screens, or children taking time to accept a new handover routine.
Our first response is usually to make the issue specific. Instead of saying “it isn’t working”, identify the behaviour or expectation, explain what should happen instead, ask the nanny for their view and agree what both sides will try. This is the same fix-first approach we use when supporting an established placement before considering replacement.
Schedule an end-of-week check-in
Set aside around 20 to 30 minutes at the end of the first week. A structured review is more useful than collecting frustrations until they become a larger argument.
Ask:
- What has gone well?
- Which routines are still unclear?
- Are the agreed hours and duties realistic?
- How are the children responding?
- Does the nanny have the information and equipment needed?
- Are there house rules that need clarification?
- Does either side need to change the communication pattern?
- Is anything being asked that was not in the original role?
For the longer-term cadence, move into the guidance in managing your nanny relationship.
Normal adjustment versus an early red flag
| Often normal at first | Needs prompt attention |
|---|---|
| A child is tearful at handover | A child reports or shows a specific safety concern |
| The nanny asks many questions | The nanny repeatedly ignores important instructions after they are clarified |
| Meals or routines run late | Chronic lateness or unexplained absence by the nanny |
| Parent and nanny have different small preferences | Serious dishonesty, unsafe conduct or a fundamental breakdown of trust |
| The nanny needs time to learn the home | Repeated disengagement from the children or refusal to perform agreed core duties |
If a serious safeguarding or immediate safety concern arises, deal with the safety issue first rather than treating it as an ordinary settling-in problem.
Do not change the job informally during onboarding
The first week sometimes exposes a genuine need to change hours or duties. Discuss the change rather than simply adding it. GOV.UK states that employment-contract changes will usually require agreement, and changes to main written terms must be put in writing within one month once agreed.
Acas also recommends putting agreed changes in writing so both sides understand what has changed, when it takes effect and whether it is temporary or permanent.
Use the nanny employment contract guide and job description template if the onboarding process shows that the role itself needs revising.
What comes after the first week?
Once the basic routine is stable, move from daily problem-solving to predictable check-ins. Continue giving specific feedback, keep the role within its agreed scope and revisit the arrangement when the children’s needs or household workload materially change.
If concerns persist despite clear feedback, use what to do when a nanny placement is not working out. If the placement is strong, an annual role and nanny pay review can help keep expectations aligned over time.