By Filipino Nanny | Updated 22 August 2026
A good nanny relationship is easier to manage when the role stays clear and small concerns are discussed before they become contract disputes. Use brief handovers for immediate issues, schedule a separate conversation for bigger changes, and put agreed changes to core duties, hours or other employment terms in writing.
This guide is for families who already employ a nanny or are researching what long-term household employment involves. It focuses on communication, feedback, role boundaries and what to do when the job changes over time.
What should day-to-day nanny communication cover?
Keep routine handovers practical. The aim is not to review the entire employment relationship after every shift; it is to pass on the information needed for the next part of the child’s care.
- changes to the children’s routine, health, school or activities;
- meals, naps, medication instructions that fall within the agreed role, or anything parents need to follow up;
- changes to collection times, visitors or access arrangements;
- expenses or practical items that need to be replaced;
- anything unusual that should not wait until a scheduled review.
For larger issues, set aside a separate conversation. Trying to resolve pay, changing hours or a disputed duty during a rushed handover makes misunderstandings more likely.
How often should you have a proper review?
There is no universal review cadence that suits every nanny job. A new placement may need more frequent check-ins than a settled long-term arrangement, while a material change to the family’s circumstances can justify an earlier review.
Instead of copying a generic timetable, agree a review pattern that fits the role and use additional meetings when something changes. Useful review topics include whether the hours still match reality, whether duties have drifted, whether the children’s needs have changed and whether either side has concerns that need a documented decision.
From our client terms: why role drift matters
Filipino Nanny’s current client Terms and Conditions make the original job specification operationally important. Under clause 9.1, the agency’s replacement provision is subject to conditions that include the client’s original job specification not having changed. The same section says the replacement provision does not apply where the candidate’s departure is caused by redundancy, restructure or a change of job description.
That is why we recommend treating substantial changes to duties or hours as an employment decision, not as an informal favour that quietly becomes permanent. A relationship can feel friendly and still benefit from a precise job scope.
This is an agency-policy point drawn from the current client terms, not a prediction about whether a particular employment dispute would succeed. If a proposed change affects the employment contract, the employer should also follow current employment-law guidance.
Can you change a nanny’s hours or duties after they start?
Sometimes the role genuinely needs to change, but agreed employment terms should not simply be rewritten unilaterally because the household routine changed. GOV.UK states that employers usually need the employee’s agreement to contract changes. Acas similarly says both employer and employee can propose changes and that, unless a contract term lawfully permits a change, both sides need to agree.
See GOV.UK: changing an employment contract and Acas: considering changes to employment contracts.
Where a change is agreed, Acas advises putting the change in writing and making clear what changes, when it takes effect and whether it is temporary or permanent. GOV.UK also states that changes to written-statement terms must be communicated in writing within the applicable timeframe. See Acas: if changes are agreed.
How do you give useful feedback without turning every issue into a crisis?
Describe the specific behaviour or outcome, explain what the household needs instead, and give the nanny room to explain what happened. “The school bag was not ready on Tuesday and Thursday; we need it checked before the school run” is clearer than “you are becoming unreliable”.
Separate three questions:
- Was the expectation clear? If the task was never part of the agreed role, the issue may be job scope rather than performance.
- Is the expectation realistic inside the hours? Adding more work without changing priorities can create repeated failure even with a capable employee.
- Is this an isolated mistake or a repeated pattern? The response should be proportionate to what actually happened.
Where an issue is serious, repeated or potentially disciplinary, use appropriate employment procedures rather than relying on an informal household conversation.
What should a nanny be able to raise with the family?
Good communication is two-way. A nanny should be able to raise concerns about unrealistic workload, unclear duties, schedule changes, safety, communication problems or a mismatch between the written role and what is happening day to day.
Acas says workplace problems can often be raised informally first, with a formal route available where informal resolution is not suitable or has failed. See Acas: how to raise a problem at work.
How do you stop a nanny role turning into a nanny-housekeeper role by accident?
Use the job description as the boundary. A nanny role can include child-related household tasks that were agreed from the start, but substantial wider cleaning, household laundry, family cooking or other domestic work changes the nature of the role.
If your household now needs both childcare and broader household support, compare the nanny-housekeeper service and our nanny-housekeeper duties guide. Do not solve a staffing gap simply by adding a second job to an existing nanny’s workload.
What if the children’s needs change?
Children start nursery or school, a new baby arrives, parents’ working patterns change and household support needs evolve. Those changes do not automatically mean the current employee is unsuitable. They do mean the family should reassess the role before changing hours or duties.
Ask whether the existing job can still work with an agreed adjustment, whether the role has genuinely become a nanny-housekeeper position, or whether adding separate household help is clearer. Our guide to evolving childcare needs covers those choices, while the nanny, nanny-housekeeper or housekeeper role guide helps decide which role the household now needs.
When should you go back to the contract?
Return to the written terms whenever the discussion concerns pay, normal hours, duties, holiday arrangements, notice, live-in accommodation or another core term. The contract is not there to make the relationship impersonal; it is there so both sides can check what was agreed.
Our nanny employment contract guide explains the main written terms, while the nanny job-description template helps define the practical role.
What if the relationship is still not working?
Some problems can be fixed by clarifying expectations or agreeing a change. Others cannot. If concerns persist, move from vague dissatisfaction to a documented issue: what is happening, what has been discussed, what needs to change and what the relevant contract or agency terms say.
Before assuming the answer is an immediate replacement, read what to do when a nanny placement is not working out. That guide explains the agency’s current replacement conditions and the distinction between a suitability problem and a family changing the original role.
Keep onboarding, reviews and pay aligned
For a new placement, use the first-week nanny onboarding guide to establish routines and communication. For an established nanny, use nanny pay reviews and retention when the role, responsibilities or market position change.
Key takeaway
A healthy nanny relationship does not depend on avoiding difficult conversations. It depends on making expectations clear, discussing changes properly and keeping the real job aligned with the written role. When the household needs change, update the employment relationship deliberately rather than letting duties drift.